the unfathomable misery of being

I became me through a series of unfortunate events. Like so many others, my innocence was taken advantage of in many of the ways that a kid can be victimized. 

I have coined an “apronym” to describe, or categorize, the specific combination of abuse I suffered:

S exual 

P hysical 

R eligious

E motional

E ducational 

I guess everyone has a pretty solid grasp on what the first four categories of abuse are, yeah?

Raped. ✓ 

Beat. ✓ 

Brainwashed. ✓ 

Neglected, abandoned, gaslighted, mind-fucked, guilt-tripped, blamed, mocked, betrayed, deceived, enslaved, humiliated, degraded, and dehumanized. ✓ 

But what the fuck am I talking about “educational” abuse?

Yeah, I didn’t know what it was until this year, either. Not until the Great American Exposé of 2026 did I realize that (what feels like) everything I was taught from fuckin’ Jump St. was a fucking goddamn lie. Everything I believed. Everything I held dear. I was a young patriot. I served in the US armed forces because I needed an education, sure, I had no direction, agreed, but under it all was a conviction so deeply ingrained in my psyche, in the framework of who and what I thought of myself as an American, that for many years it was my operating system. 

But then we started waking up.  Finding out that almost everything I had been taught about my heritage, about my country, about the values we believe in, about reality itself was ALL lies has fuckin’ broken me even further than I thought possible. I was already broken. Then reality caved and I was exposed as an idiot no greater than the least in history.

The maelstrom of emotions that are battering my sense of moral direction have nearly crippled me. I have discovered that my country has betrayed me in every way a citizen can be betrayed by his government:

The origin story is all lies. The glory of American patriotism is a sham. We are a nation of slave driving, egomaniac, pedophilic, gaslighting racists who cannot achieve anything greater than the rewards of public education unless our parents are wealthy beneficiaries of elite, white, capitalist racists. 

I have been groomed and molded by the American Lie, which might better be known by its true hallmarks:

Hatred of non-whites. 

Hatred of non-Christians. 

Hatred of non-elite. 

Hatred of non-wealthy.

Hatred of self. 

It is without doubt and without precedent that the American public has been subjected to and successfully assimilated into the over-arching, emerging reality of fundamentalist Christian nationalist politics and that common sense and decency have given way to reactionary liars who benefit from our ignorance. 

Every American citizen alive today is a victim of Educational Abuse and what better way to indoctrinate otherwise good people into your evil cult of assholes who hate everyone who looks different than to start in pre-school with the ultimate mind-fuck: a requirement that you dedicate your every resource to the glory of a “being” who refuses to reveal itself to anyone, every morning for the first half of your childhood?

-HomieCidal Brainiac