the unfathomable misery of being

For a person to be unafraid and to stand for what he believes, he must know what it is he believes and having a structured framework from which to operate makes remembering your values much easier. 

I don’t need rules or threats to keep myself in line. I already know what I think is right and wrong, which happens to generally follow all the classic rules, so no sweat. I follow the rules I have, not because I’m afraid of a fate that may befall me for violating a rule, like prison or damnation, but because I do not want to be the source of another’s suffering.  

I decided to choose a few historic quotes to create the framework from which I would address all concerns. I wanted to use quotes because they are easier to remember than rules and infinitely more inspiring. I wanted each one to remind me of how to approach different situations. I ended up with five core quotes and a whole assload of other favorites that didn’t make the cut, but are still active second string players. 

I wanted my first one to be sort of the Golden Rule:

“The superior man is watchful over himself, when he is alone.”

-Confucius 

The Doctrine of The Mean

For me, that is almost all that needs to be said. 

My second quote is so very important to me. I have suffered with lots of lies and learned to lie quite well myself, but eventually I realized that beyond the damage caused by lying, it is a real fucking headache trying to keep all your bullshit straight for all the different people to whom you lie. Number two is absolutely non-negotiable:

“When a man lies, he murders some part of the world.”

-Excalibur, 1981

The third quote I chose attempts to dictate all the rest of my behavior:

“One should practice steadfast and indiscriminative virtue without demanding others to do the same in return.”

-Lao Tzu

Hua Hu Ching

I remember it as simply, “…practice steadfast and indiscriminate virtue…”. 

The bottom line is just be kind and good. We all know what that means. Don’t be a fucking dick!

The fourth attempts to remind me of how to behave in troubling situations:

“Remember to preserve a calm soul amid difficulties.”

-Horace

Odes

It is so very easy to lose sight of your goals in the heat of the moment. Having a plan that you have rehearsed makes it easier to begin to associate the new, desired behavior with the old, troubling scenarios and hopefully, we eventually learn to react the new way first.

The fifth reminds me not to compromise my beliefs:

“Though the wind blows, the mountain does not move.”

-Japanese Proverb

I have learned that a mountain that does not move does not need to appear to others as a booby-trapped minefield and when it instead appears bucolic, you make more friends than enemies.

I printed these up and pinned them to my wall and eventually it got folded up and put in a drawer, but I still look at it from time to time, not so much anymore to remind me of how to be, but to remind me of where I was and how far I’ve come and to be sure I haven’t forgotten. 

All of this is to illustrate that the person I became was borne of the experiences I endured. The pain, the shame, the humiliation, the dominations all left scars that have inspired the creation of an entirely new person who is trying to be the opposite of the evil that forged him instead of caving to the ease of perpetuation.

The people we encounter will see our scars because people are intuitive and can read each other, even when we don’t know what we’re reading. If you give in to the craven impulses to perpetuate your pain, the world will see your scars as abhorrent, but if you choose to rise above and live by a higher code, the world will see a hero who has risen from the ashes to become a beacon of good. The choice is yours, your legacy is earned, and the life of a good person is its own reward. Do not fall to your oppressors. Rise to inspire.

I strive to show my scars not by creating new victims, but by creating safe places for those I am steward over and for those who seek shelter and peace. Be good, be safe, and wear your scars like a pimp’s drip. 

-HomieCidal Brainiac